NTDT: Back and Totally Legal
by lanternheart
Summary: As you might have noticed, it had been removed. But now it's making a comeback! Read for details.


No one had any idea how on Neopia any of this had happened. All they knew was that their other Talkshow was removed from their dimension.

But now they were back. All of them. Sitting in plush, comfy chairs in a semicircle with a neon sign above their heads that said _Neopets Truth or Dare Talkshow: Bigger, Better and Totally Legal_. The Truth Chair was still there, as were the Dare Feathers.

But now, it appeared that they had a live audience. People in one large mass in front cheering their names over and over again.

The only two humans sat in the most central position, with various neopets of different species and colours spreading out like wings to complete the semicircle. On another platform, other neopets stood, obviously not too happy about the show's relaunch.

One human glanced around and saw that. She had become a bit depressive and wasn't smiling.

The other one has become more mature, as much as she could have gotten. "HAI EVERYBODY!" And had also eaten sprinkles, they were like her crack.

Suddenly, everyone's good friend Voice announced, "Readers of FanFiction, it's the grand relaunch of NTDT: _Totally Legal_!"

The crowd screamed. One host looked down at her feet and the other screamed back.

"And here are your hosts, Whateva and Echo!"

The humans stood up as the crowd started screaming again. They knew that they would have to give opening speeches once the heat died down.

Whateva suddenly had an idea. High on sprinkles, she jumped into the crowd, who instantly held her up. "Echo, come! I'm crowd surfing!" she squealed.

Echo shivered. "No thanks. I don't want a bunch of people I don't know holding me over the ground." She reached back and grabbed a rifle on her shoulder. "They might steal my rifle," she whispered to herself.

"Congrats on not giving in to peer pressure!" Whateva yelled as the crowd suddenly threw her up and caught her.

Echo made an attempt at a smile that just made her look like she was in pain. "Yeah. Thanks." The depression made her less impulsive and she hoped to curb that soon.

The crowd let Whateva back on stage, and they quieted down for the opening speeches.

Whateva's high had gone down, and that's when she noticed the sadness of her friend. Mentally face-palming at herself, she sat down. "Now, you're probably expecting amazing speeches. Which I was not even prepared for." Some giggles came from the audience. "I'll be improvising,"

"As will I," Echo said. "Neither of us were expecting a relaunch until now."

"You know something about speeches? Women have always been great orators, but women did not always have the opportunity to speak in public. One of the most stirring and inspirational famous speeches by women was made hundreds of years ago, in 1588, by Queen Elizabeth I of England. Dressed in armor at Tilbury she spoke the inspirational words to her troops when England was threatened by the superior power of the Spanish Armada. Who can forget her words "...I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart of a king, and of a king of England, too..." the Spanish Armada Speech by Queen Elizabeth I was a true inspiration to all women." Whateva then proceeded to breathe heavily, as she didn't take a breathe during any of that.

"You stole that from somewhere." Somebody in the crowd accused.

"...Damn."

"Well, I guess I'll get to the point," Echo announced. "Hey, we're back after being kicked off the air... or the net... And now we've made some changes so that it won't happen again."

"If it does happens again, I'm fucked." Whateva stated bluntly.

"...Yeah," Echo agreed. "So here's the new rules. First off, every truth, dare or comment has to be made through PM to either Whateva or me."

"Still comment on how the chapter turned out, though." Whateva said quickly. "I still want damn reviews."

"We will be ignoring any reviewed truths or dares, because that means that our story is interactive and shit. And we're now writing in story format, as you can clearly see. Because of this, chapters will take longer to write, and dares can't be too complicated." Echo scratched the side of her nose and looked at Whateva to continue.

"They can still be crazy or dramatic as fuck, but not too long." Whateva sat up and stretched. "How old are these damn chairs?"

"As old as the relaunch!" someone in the audience called out, earning a few laughs from easily-amused people.

"Continuing!" Echo interrupted them. "So, it's pretty much the same otherwise. There's the Truth Chair, Dare Feathers, I can control people with the Death Note, we can all die... Am I forgetting something?"

"I'm the forgetful one. Don't steal my shit. Also, they still can't be M rated things, still just T+ at max." Whateva spoke up.

"Oh right!" Echo smacked her forehead. "The plot characters being truthed and dared are NOT v.E and v.W. Well... there is the exception of Armin v.E who will show up if we need his help. And you can request appearances from the v.E and v.W pets, but no truths or dares for them. We will probably also have appearances from the DN crew, and Courtney from TDI since we've already destroyed the-"

"Fourth wall!" a brunette girl in the crowd pointed an accusing finger at Echo.

"...Precisely."

"Fuck. She's fucking back. Fuck." The slightly shorter of the hosts swore.

"Language!" Somebody in the crowd hissed.

"Why the fucking fuck would you fucking be in this fucking place if you fucking cared about fucking fucked language?" Whateva responded.

"CONTINUING!" Echo said again. "Since I am completely paranoid about keeping this borderline legal, we regret to inform you all that we can't have actual people guest star on this show. So even if you want us to drag in a celebrity to brutally maim them or something, that can't happen."

"Wait, is the person who called Whateva out about her language..." A shadow-coloured Xweetok squinted into the audience and the person quickly hid themselves.

"Right. And Shadow here," Echo pointed at the Xwee, "is my backup host."

"And my fucking backup fucking host is fucking Lahetta. Like fucking always." Whateva was on a 'fucking' roll, apparently.

"You're out of sprinkles." Lahetta informed the co-host.

"She shouldn't say fuck so much," Fire mentioned, and Echo looked at her incredulously. Fire grinned, "She needs to say 'shit' once in a while too."

Echo let out a sigh of relief. "I thought you went insane for a sec, Fire. Oh yeah, and the rest of the pets are our co-hosts."

"Swearing is fucking awesome shit. I'm out of fucking sprinkles?! Fucking shit."

"...Shit." Alsa glared at Fire.

Echo managed a smile. She leaned back in her chair and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Well, I think that's it. If there isn't anything else we need to add, we should wrap this up now before something really fucking stupid happens to us."

"Something like where I snap and kill everybody in here." Belle somehow said that calmly.

"Yeah, like that." Kelly said slowly.

"So yeah. Let's make history and not have a death in a chapter," Echo finished. "Please PM, and review to let us know of the quality of our writing and stuff like that, but no reviewing truths, dares or personal comments to the plot characters. Bye."

Everyone waved, the crowd cheered and the camera blacked out.


End file.
